Tionna

Relationships: “Cause I Know That It’s Delicate”

Should I have said all that? I can’t send that. How could you do that? Are we even friends? We don’t talk anymore. I’ll just let him figure it out. She doesn’t know what she wants. 

Did your heart drop at any of those lines above? Did you cringe as badly as I did while typing those words? If so, take a deep breath and let it all out. You didn’t…well, aren’t you the lucky one.

If I haven’t made it obvious yet, I’m diving into all things chaotic and gritty in relationships. Grab a snack, get comfy, and ride this mental roller coaster with me.

So here’s the thing, relationships are not easy. These things can be delicate. Romantic, familial, platonic, professional; they’re all an adventure. Sometimes it’s an adventure I rather not take. There are so many things that factor in the make or break of all relationships:Are your astrological signs compatible? Do you really like them being around or are they members of your family? Are you tolerating someone because they’re your best friend’s best friend? Are you comfortable with confrontation? Is the person you’re having a hard time with your boss? Can you be passive aggressive? Are there similarities in likes and opinions? The list goes on, folks. I couldn’t possibly talk about them all in one blog post.

I’ve learned so much about relationships over the years. But, I know that I’ve barely scratched the surface of everything I will learn eventually. This week, I decided to ask some of the best people in my life about one thing they’ve learned about relationships so far. Here’s what they told me:

  • Knowing your worth and how you want to be treated is important in every relationship. We should never settle for less. (from my mother.)
  • Never let the love you have for someone else be greater than the love you have for yourself. (something I wrote down in my journal at 16, thanks Ms. Kaplan)
  • People change. What matters is whether people change for the good or the bad.
  • Loyalty is key. What does loyalty look like to you?
  • There is no relationship without trust and good communication. (from my father.)
  • The best romantic relationships (in my uncle’s opinion) are the ones that start with friendship and actually liking the person you’re with. Relationships that are based off of physical attraction and status don’t tend to last because they lack substance.

There is one lesson that I’ve learned and completely embraced over the years. It terrified me when I learned it during my senior year of high school. Now it brings me great comfort: There are three types of people that come into your life. I’ve learned to appreciate all three and made peace with the fact that sometimes the people who fit in one category can move to another throughout time. You have your seasons, your reasons, and your forever.

Reasons: The people who come into your to teach you something you need to know.

Seasons: The people who come into your life just when you need them and helps excite or calm you.

Forever: The people who come into your life and stay throughout all the whirlwind adventure life can bring.

Whatever our relationship woes may be, somehow we’ve all decided that they’re a necessary part of living.  I am grateful that I have them to learn from and run from. I couldn’t imagine my life without them.
Now, after writing all of this I realized there is still more to divulge. So many people in my life to gather more wisdom from and so many stories to share. I look forward to writing more about this topic. (Something I never thought I’d write!)
What did you think of this post? Can you relate to any of the lessons learned? Can you share one that wasn’t on the list? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.

 

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